So here is what I have discovered - it's not the Higg's Boson or the evolution of a new mammal. It's not that men act like children when the tables are turned and you are the one who doesn't want to be in a relationship...
It's that I like alcohol!
Not in a "I can't function without it" or even a "I have to drink every day" kind of way. It's the ritual and habit of alcohol that I like.
This discovery didn't come as too much of a surprise to me. I like to think I'm pretty self aware and I know how much I enjoy a glass of wine and a good cocktail. What I didn't realise was how much the lack of ritual has shaken me.
Here's how it works:
- Work all day
- Public transport home (the bus trip 11 kilometres home is enough in itself to turn any sane human being into a wine guzzling machine)
- Enter house
- Make decision about dinner
- Pour wine
- Sip
- Cook or reheat (let's face it - Nigella Lawson, I am not)
- Sip more
- And more
- Eat dinner
- Watch television
- Sip some more
- Unwind from day
- Go to bed
- SLEEP
Occasionally there is more than one glass of wine involved. But one glass is enough to flick that switch in my brain from work to relaxation. And I like that switch.
The reason I have made that discovery this month? - Well, it's Dry July.
My reasons for taking on the DJ challenge were twofold - one, I have been drinking a lot more than normal the last couple of years (it's helped get me through some pretty rough times) and two, the money raised is for charity. Cancer charities to be precise. And given that there have been 5 people in my extended family lost to cancer in the last 3 years - not drinking didn't seem like much of a sacrifice.
But it kind of is. A big sacrifice.
My night time routine is all out of whack. My brain doesn't switch over to relaxation, I find myself thinking about projects and work and I'm boring. I sit like a zombie in front of the television for an hour before declaring myself tired and going to bed. It's usually about 8.30pm.
You'd think all that sleep would make me feel great and it does - I'm a lot perkier and bouncier in the morning than I have been in years. But it fades quickly. Usually just after lunch. Usually when a colleague is begging me to go out for a sneaky lunchtime meal and pint.
I can't go out because I'm scared that the temptation to drink will be too great and that my resolve will crumble. Surely I can get people to donate to a cancer charity without having to give anything up? How is not drinking relevant to those suffering from cancer? Dad loved a drink (or two or three) - surely if he were here today he'd encourage me to have that glass of wine or pint of cider?
And on the weekends - oh the weekends - well my bedroom has never been cleaner... But the days drag and I don't know how to fill in my time. Other than shopping. Or perhaps blogging (in my pyjamas at 2pm) or sleeping or watching copious episodes of Masterchef (thanks to an encore screening). HELP!?!
This is what I have discovered about myself:
- I like wine too much to give it up for any longer than a month
- After 3 weeks, I'm starting to go a little stir crazy
- I ramble whether I'm sober or drunk
- Sacrificing something to help raise money for charity is noble but maybe I should have just donated the $400 I have raised so far directly to the Prince of Wales Hospital Foundation
Please support me in my vain attempt to steer clear of alcohol for the next 11 days by donating:
No comments:
Post a Comment