My Tattoo

75. Get a Tattoo or a Piercing

Today is Mother's Day (is that apostrophe in the right place Mama?)...And as always on Mother's Day (or Father's Day) we reflect on our relationship with our parents.

Last night when I was out with my new friends from school, we talked about our parents. I was saying that I didn't really start to rebel until I was an adult. Sure, I did the usual things that teenagers do - underage drinking with my older work friends, the occasional sneaky cigarette but for the most part I think I was a pretty good kid. My rebellion was always such that I never wanted to get caught - I think I was terrified of my Mum being disappointed in me. So I never did anything that was too out there (or at least if I did do it I will never admit to it and I never did get caught).

I remember that Mum had this real issue with ear piercing and so while all my friends had theirs done, I wasn't allowed to until the Christmas I was 14 (it may have even been 15). It was such a big deal! I was so excited! Mum bought me proper earrings, we made a day of going to the Plaza to get it done. Then just after my 16th birthday, I was at the Plaza with a friend and I called Mum and asked her if she'd mind if I had my ears pierced a 2nd time - she wasn't happy but she told me it was up to me.. I was so riddled with guilt but I did it anyway - rebellious I know!! (Just as an aside - by the time my younger sister was 16 she had massive fleshies in her ears, an eyebrow ring and a tongue piercing and Mum never batted an eyelid - I guess you could say I paved the way).

I didn't get my belly pierced until I was 25 (it could have even been 26) and I was such a wuss that I made my friend's daughter (15 or 16 at the time) go first. If it hurt Bec then I was going to back out - seriously? What is with that? (And thanks again Bec for being the crash test dummy). My tragus piercing was the first one that I went into on my own with no fear of retribution (from Mum) and nobody to hold my hand - I was 29 at the time. So today - I have three holes in each ear (I rarely ever wear earrings) and my tragus is pierced too. So does that mean I have ticked off Number 75 on my list? If this doesn't - maybe the rest of this post will...

My Mum's bigger pet hate though was tattoos.... "If you ever get a tattoo, I'll take you back to the parlour and get your whole body done" she always threatened. And at 14, 15, 22, 25 - I believed her - she was that adamant about it. I never rationally thought about the cost of getting my whole body tattooed or how she'd managed to drag an adult down to a tattoo parlour and force them to get inked (although I may have had visions of being strapped down to a table like in those movies set in psychiatric hospitals) but the threat lingered and I think I feared my Mum enough that I never did it.

Anyway, my 8 years younger sister got inked and managed to hide it from Mum for a year (including a holiday in Kakadu in the height of summer where we spent the whole time in our bikinis) but when Mum finally saw it on Christmas Day, she cried...and cried...and cried some more. (Fortunately I missed it having passed out early on as I am wont to do on Christmas Day after drinking from 7am). When Jacq got her second one, she sold it to Mum in a completely different way (Mum, is there anything I could ever do that could make you love me less? Yes, get another tattoo....Oh Jacqueline - where did you get it?) The only thing that got Mum through the second bit of ink was the realisation that Jacq had had it done in Brisbane and not Thailand (which I had had to talk Jacq out of while we were there on holidays the month before).

Jacq's 3rd tattoo is a tribute to our Grandma who passed away at the age of 89 last March. Grandma's favourite saying in the last few years was "Such is Life" - she would say it at weird times and mostly not within any context of what we were talking about but they saying resonated with her. Jacq had "Such is Life" tattooed on her ribs around the middle of last year. I was so touched by not only the sentiment, but the relevance of that saying that in September last year I went and had "C'est la vie" tattooed on my right hip. It's a tribute to life, to some of the things that I have been through (and that is why the placement on my right hip is significant) but more importantly it's a tribute to the women who have come before me and those who will come after me. It's for my Grandmarie, for my Mum and her sisters, for my sister but most importantly for me..

I told Mum about it on the anniversary of Grandma's death (over a bottle of wine seems to be the way to break bad news in my family) and she saw it a couple of weeks later. She did cry but she cried because of the sentiment and not so much the tattoo (at least I hope that's what it was)...

So, on this Mother's Day - I raise a glass to my Mum, and my Grandma - both beautifully strong women who taught me the value of love, life, respecting your elders, individuality and of paying tribute to the people that you love.

And Mum - I can't promise that I won't get another tattoo but I can promise that if I do it will be because I want to remember something or someone who has been incredibly important to me. I love you! Happy Mother's Day xxx